Act like you've scored a goal before.

I don’t understand fans. Now, mostly I’m talking about the kind that you see at their kid’s game, or niece, neighbor, or whatever, but I also don’t understand the type that can watch five football games in a row, yelling at the ref, players, and who knows who else in the process. The first kind are the people that I laugh at while I’m reffing (I have to do something to entertain myself, and I can’t always count on trying to translate the Mexican teams’ Spanglish). I get such a laugh out of the people who yell, “Go go go!” the entire game, no matter what’s happening on the field. Someone needs to thank them for reminding the players to actually do something. “Run run run” is perhaps the only thing funnier. Because they wouldn't otherwise.

Then there’s the people that carry on for 5 minutes about a call that the ref missed. I especially love the case when a coach will turn around and tell the person to shut up because the person is so obviously a moron and doesn't know the rules.. Granted, it doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s great. Last night I heard one parent yell, "Cheater! Offsides cheater!" Yes, I'm cheating for the other team because it matters to me if they score. Why the hell do I care who wins? I get paid either way.

I guess I’m strange because when I watch a game I tend to be very quiet and analytical. I don’t want to yell the whole game, and I don’t want the people around me yelling. I don’t cheer. One “whoo!” is about all you’ll hear from me, and only when something worth celebrating happens, like a goal in a championship game, or when you’re behind. Perhaps it’s because in high school and college we were very relaxed on the bench (and our parents were, too). This might have been because we were used to good things happening (like winning) so we didn't feel the need to celebrate. I actually heard Leslie say, "Act like you've scored a goal before," when an underclassman was celebrating too much after a goal. I've wanted to say that on numerous occasions to numerous teams.