"Back when I was your age..."

Last night I was helping my cousins write a paper for her English class. I should have been working on my own paper (like I should be now), but it sounded like so much more fun to edit hers. Anyways, it is on Greek culture in the ancient times (something I'm only slightly familiar with). I should point out that my cousins is a freshman in high school, and is in what they call Honors (the equivalent of our GATE program for freshmen).

Apparently, writing an essay is no longer creative in any way. They have a strict format they have to follow, called the Jane Schaffer Method. This format requires an opening paragraph of 3 - 5 sentences, and each body paragraph to have 11 sentences in the order of "Openings, concrete detail, commentary, commentary, concrete detail, commentary, commentary, concrete detail, commentary, commentary, conclusion. Then you merely repeat that for however many body paragraphs you need, and end with a conclusion that is basically the same as your intro. Further, my cousin is forbidden to use words like "would" and "could" (understandable) and "show" or "shown" (ridiculous).

Perhaps the worst thing about this method is that it encourages run-on sentences. For example, you can't introduce a quote in one sentence, follow with the quote in another sentence, and explain it in a third - because that doesn't follow the "fact, commentary, commentary" format. So you have to both introduce and include your quote in one sentence. Not only does it encourage run-ons, but it also encourages mindless repeating of yourself, merely to meet a sentence quota. Absurd!

But don't take my word for it. I googled "Jane Shaffer" and this highly entertaining blog post came up.

I should point out that it's possible that this whole thing isn't my cousin's teacher's fault. The school district apparently requires this method of writing. Please! Let's stop giving teachers a bad rep by tying their hands at teaching children creativity and how to find their own voice!